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Alyssa Discussion started by Alyssa 1 month ago
Hi! Just wanted to ask everyone about something I think about sometimes.
Most of us in this group I'd assume, from what I've gathered, have longer hair than is normally seen on the average black woman. (Even if your hair is not longer, maybe it is healthier and you get comments about it looking like a wig or something.) Do you all experience hair jealousy in your everyday lives?
My family is always saying/doing things that one could only describe as being jealous. I have a rather strict weekly schedule, I rarely put direct heat in it (2-3 times a year when I straighten), it is pretty much always in a protective style. On the rare occasion that I do flat iron my hair, my sister is always saying things like "I'm going to take scissors to your hair while you're sleeping," especially when her girlfriends ask her why her hair isn't long since mine is and we're twins. My mom rarely entertains a conversation about hair/hair care because I'm pretty sure she sees my hair as better than hers, since she grew up in the time of people labeling certain hair as "good" hair. So if she sees me deep conditioning, she rolls her eyes. If my hair is wet, she cuts her eyes at me like how dare I have the audacity to walk by her like that. I have hair that is 3c/4a (3b at the very back... seriously.. I cut it off 3x to be sure because I thought it was damage) and she has 4b/4c (4a in some areas). One of my closest friends tried to guilt pressure me into agreeing to cut my hair so that our hair could be the same length again. (She had hair between sl and apl but it had heat damage and wouldn't curl up so she cut it into an asymmetric bob and still wears it straight most of the time...) Sometimes they ask me what to do and what I do, but quickly dismiss it saying "Oh, no... that's too much." I just get a lot of flack from family about my hair, so that's part of the reason I don't wear it out a lot.

Wanted to know if anyone else gets stuff like this. What do you say to them?
Replies
Patti
Patti I'm sorry you're experiencing those reactions. My hair is just about shoulder length, which is longer than it's ever been. My aunt did say "You are... Show more 4 weeks ago
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Jas
Jas it's always a cycle of dismissal, disbelief, and/or questioning when it comes to people and hair. My family in the house we all have long hair. The... Show more 3 weeks ago
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Mearra Franklin
Mearra Franklin I had a few people who have said snarky comments, or thought my hair was fake. I just ignore them. Sorry your family cant grasp the whole thing... Show more 3 weeks ago
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